What a fabulous end to a crummy day! My face hurts from smiling so much. I couldn't have asked for more. Heavenly Father surely wants His children to be happy and has handfuls and handfuls of sweet blessings to bestow upon us when we do not seek to avoid our trials, but rather instead seek joy despite them. Britt, if you read this, you are the reason for my smile.
Reverting to the events that transpired earlier in the day...
Today I was again surprised, like I am always surprised when I observe how I react to being treated poorly by those that I care about. I was never a part of the mean girls (I assume that you will know what I'm talking about thanks to the recent film, Mean Girls). Through the years, I have associated with them, sometimes was even close enough to be considered a friend of mean girls and reciprocated their friendship. I don't comprehend their meanness. I don't comprehend the desire to exclude and excel above others. I don't understand ridicule and how it is fulfilling. When it all gets down to it, I don't care if the Mean Girls want to create a barrier between themselves and me. There are two principles that contradict each other. I love unity. I seek it. I live for it. I am passionate about it. But on the other hand, there should be a division between the Mean Girls and I shouldn't there? It seems so. But then, what about unity and loving and erasing the lines that divide us? That is ultimately what I long for?? Superficially, I do care, and it does hurt to be treated that way. And I wonder, why does it affect me so?
We are warned that as time progresses the opposition to The Church and its members will increase acutely. So, I should not be surprised when I am who the opposition is against. I am aware of this. But... the question is, why does it hurt? And why do I permit it to affect me? My knowledge teaches me that I should be prepared for it, expect it, and gird my loins for when it happens.
But the condition of the human soul? My personality thrives on human interaction. There are others who do not thrive as heartily on human interaction. Regardless, all of us need it in some form or another. Man was not created to be alone. The Plan of Salvation was created for the purpose of allowing God's children (presently humans) to be bound and linked together throughout all eternity! CRAZY!!! The depth of our inherent need and fulfillment of being linked is far beyond my capacity to comprehend!!! But I know that I love my neighbor (for the most part) and I want to be close to them. I know that my soul does not react well when I see disharmony and dividing agents among us.
Yes, it exists in me sometimes and I am guilty of those same harmful poisons. I wish I were rid of them. I think for this reason, I welcome constructive criticisms. I am aware of my ignorance and my frequently blind eyes. My desires are good but I am weak, proud, and human. Sometimes I am the antagonist that I so adamantly fight against. And in turn, I harm another's soul. What damage we do to one another on this earth. Trying to mold, shape, carve, twist people into being what we think they should be. We ourselves are already flawed and imperfect. How do we pretend to create a better version of what they naturally are, than what God, a perfect creator has allowed them to be? I am afraid that the person standing on the soap box is deaf to her own words all too often.
Which, brings us to REPENTANCE & FORGIVENESS. Two things we are in constant quest of. I must forgive those Mean Girls. I must repent when my actions are maybe not as juvenile but very wrong nonetheless. Only then can I hope to receive forgiveness from those that I offend. Without forgiveness there could not exist unity. Hmmm... I retract my earlier statement. There should be no division between the Mean Girls and myself. I am a hypocrite in various ways which requires repentance. I am pleased with the destination of my thoughts. Sweet. Now I can go to bed.
5 comments:
Truly, in the first paragraph where I address the meat of the issue, I am as blind as they come. How very guilty I am of creating divisions and barriers. Sad I say.
Not sad, just life; and life is beautiful. Thank you for the journey into your crazy girl mind. haha. I thoroughly enjoy the way you think, and the way your mind analyzes situations and reacts to them. It's a piece of brilliant art work.
It is true that we need to be accepting and loving of all those that surround us. And we should forgive everyone, even ourselves, no matter how we've been wronged. It's difficult, for sure. That's part of our mortal sojourn though, to learn to overcome our weaknesses. This is a big one, for a lot of us.
The reason that you are affected and hurt by those that treat you poorly is because you have a wonderfully sensitive soul, which feels pains and joys to their extremes. As you very well know, that is a blessing and a curse. But you can embrace it, knowing that you are in good company. For example, perfect example, our Savior. He knew very well the persecution he would be involved in through his life, but he suffered it. Yes, it hurt him very much even though he knew it was coming. And he still loved those that chose to hurt him; and better yet, he forgave them so sweetly and genuinely while in the very midst of their reviling and tortures.
So honey, yes, you can expect such bad things to happen. It is a part of life, and especially we are taught that we will all have to pass through some personal hell at some point. But like you said, gird those loins, and brave it. The Lord will help you through.
And also know that we are all hypocrites. It is always easier said then done. But, we are in the process of becoming refined and purified. It will take a long time, as does any good thing worth while.
Let's remember Luke, "In patience possess ye your souls." (21:19)
Well, Samantha Falcon, now that I know who you are, I am so excited to stay undated with the goings-on in your life a little better. It was so fun to chat with you last night. I was in desperate need of some girl talk. Thanks, you are and always have been a great friend.
waylog mandog
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