Meu Salvador

Now there is something to be said about the Savior. I wish that this blog posting could be written in music and song rather than just words because songs capture so much more fully the depth of feeling and communicates not only what the composer thinks and feels but is a reflection to the listener of the sacred things that lie in their own heart. A song can be communion between composer and listener without the two ever having to meet.

But as I am mortal and already used to the strings that bind and limitations that prohibit me from living all the desires of my heart, I will settle with just words.

First, as a disclaimer. Words can be eloquent, persuasive, meaningful, and even have the power to penetrate the softest tissues of our hearts, but in the end, words are only words. A combination of symbols in print that reflect an idea, thought, etc. Although I write today in words, they are only symbols on a paper, nothing of extraordinary worth.

What is of worth is how I live. How I support my words with my actions. What I am found doing and thinking in the solitude when I am alone. How I extend myself to others when I am not in peaceful solitude. How I love. How I live my testimony and gratitude rather than just write and dream about it.

So, my true testimony and my true identity lie in my works.

My Savior Jesus Christ. Based from what I do know of Him, I believe that I love him. Although as imperfect demonstration of my life that I offer, I believe still, that I love him.

The comprehensive meaning of the sacrifice that He performed is beyond me and I expect that it will be through the duration of my mortal life.

His love is almost impossibly sweet and pure. The kindness that is reflected in His eyes in even a painting connects me with this Heavenly Being. Heavenly and Earthly. He knows no heavenly limitations yet is familiar with every earthly limitation. He has mastered the skills necessary to live a perfect life. Mastered them perfectly the first time and every time.

He knew the balance between keeping himself clean from the impurities of the world, yet not shunning away from the people who were buried deep in those impurities. I strive to understand how I too can learn that balance. And when I err, He is there to reassure me that my errors and the cost for them has already been paid. I don't understand His grace and how it is extended to me infinitely.

He is wise enough and kind enough to allow me to experience great pain in the moment because it is a lesser amount of pain than what I would experience in the future than if He were to spare me from that present pain, or enduring that seemingly so tragic disappointment that I face today.

Although my works are a reflection of who I am, He is compassionate enough not to judge me until the end of my days. Not what I am currently. He can see me for what I was yesterday, who I am today, and who I will be many tomorrows from now.

He is patient enough to walk beside and not scold me when I fall into the same old habits and forget the new lessons that I have already been taught countless times. He allows me to repent endlessly. He allows me to repent even when I take for granted His Atonement which is precious above all. He allows me to repent when I am blind and am an ungrateful servant and would seek to keep others from receiving those same blessings that I have already received and proudly assume that I will continue to receive.

He sacrificed everything. For every mistake that I have made, every sin of omission and commission that I have been too carnal, too lazy, too proud, too apathetic, and too ignorant that were all manifestations of my unwillingness to sacrifice myself the same way that He was.

He blesses me with the goodness of those around me -strangers, acquaintances, associates, friends, ward family and my own family members. Their warmness, uplifting words, counsels, concern, laughter, and time spent with me sharing their talents are all tender mercies of the Lord.


To be continued. I will write my conclusion another night. I'm drained of energy.