The earth is blanketed in white snow and all the colors are muted by the brightness of the snow, I feel claustrophobic. I feel trapped and unable to break free of my surroundings. Its been more than 7 months since I took my last substantial road trip. My last trip was to Canada and oh how beautiful it was. I caught a plane into Seattle and then from Seattle drove into Canada. How lovely the coastline of Washington is! I remember standing on a small outcropping of rock over the water and it took everything not to jump in. Actually, I remember what kept me from jumping in, it was that there was no way from the water back up to the cliff I would have jumped from. I remember smelling the cold clean air from the ocean breezes and rains. The trees and ground were wet from the falling showers and the vegetation my favorite colors of green. The rental car was a smooth ride and had a powerful engine, helping me feel a greater control of leaving behind what I had left at the airport in SLC.
For some reason I am again feeling anxious to leave behind my current surroundings. My self-diagnosed ADD is flaring and I am getting bored with my routine. Every now and then I arrive at a point and feel like I am close to acheiving something new, but right as I begin to approach I wander away for whatever reason, lack of discipline, boredom, fear, does ADD count as a reason?, or impatience.
I want to feel the cold winter air burn my lungs as I breathe heavily from a heavy physical exertion. Skiing, snow-shoeing, snow-mobiling, pulling my sister on the dog-sled, whatever... I need the air burning my lungs so that I can feel alive. I want a new landscape in front of my eyes so that I can behold new beauty. I'm desperate to break free from the same limitations that have been my so-far lifetime companions.
2 comments:
Um, I'm not really sure what to say to this. I understand what you mean by needing new surroundings. A vacation is always good. But eventually you'd even tire of having nothing to do. I think your life is great! Well, that's an outsiders perspective.
And yes, I think all of the reasons you listed are valid.
I don't necessarily know what to make of my post either. I was just writing without thinking really and thats what came out. I know there is not great order to it. Strangely enough, I think my life is great too.
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